When to start talking about stuff

When you become thirsty it is usually a signal that you should have some water to drink in order to rehydrate body. The problem is that when you start experiencing thirst it actually means that you are already starting to dehydrate.

Similarly when couples reach out for relationship investment (because of a problem between them) it usually means that the problem has been there for a while, the relationship has already started to dehydrate. By the time a couple reaches out the problem is often so embellished in other smaller issues that it becomes difficult to see where to start.

In my experience when a couple can communicate about an issue they usually find a creative way to navigate the challenge, this means that the biggest part of an issue is often not communicating about something. In an investment session with a couple we usually find a healthy way to say what needs to be said, learn how to hear each other and then the couple finds a creative way to move forward. There is no secret formula and there is no “one size fits all”.

People often ask me when it is time to reach out for help. Based on what I have reported above, it is simple: As soon as you can not communicate about something, or you feel misunderstood in the communication process. Relationships are too important to neglect, they are too precious for us not to invest in them and they are too connected to our very being for us to ignore the issues.

Issues mostly do not solve themselves, they are solved through healthy communication and whether you involve your partner directly or bring an objective person into the communication start talking sooner rather than later.